Caring for a bed-bound parent at home: a practical guide for families

What does a bed-bound parent need every day?

A bed-bound person needs help with the things their body can no longer do by moving: shifting weight off the skin, staying clean, eating and drinking safely, emptying the bladder and bowels, and keeping joints from stiffening. A written daily routine makes sure nothing is missed when different family members take turns.

Ask the treating doctor how often your parent should be turned, whether they can sit up for meals, and which activities are safe. Keep the answers near the bed with the medicine list and the doctor’s phone number.

• Morning: mouth care, washing, a clean pad or diaper, a skin check, breakfast sitting up, morning medicines.
• Through the day: position changes on schedule, water offered regularly, gentle movement of arms and legs if advised.
• Evening: washing, a fresh pad, dinner sitting up, evening medicines, a final skin check.
• Night: position changes as agreed with the doctor or nurse, a call bell or phone within reach.

How do you prevent bedsores at home?

Bedsores (pressure sores) form when the same patch of skin is pressed against the bed for too long, so the main prevention is regular position changes, clean dry skin and a daily look at the pressure points. Many care guidelines suggest turning every two to four hours, and more often for people at higher risk. Ask the doctor or nurse which schedule suits your parent.

Check the skin over the bony areas once a day in good light: the back of the head, shoulder blades, elbows, lower back and tailbone, hips and heels. Red or darker skin that does not fade when you press it gently, a blister, or a patch that feels warm, hard or spongy can be the start of a sore. Tell the nurse or doctor the same day, because early sores heal far more easily than open ones.

• Alternate between lying on the back and on each side, using pillows between the knees and behind the back.
• Float the heels on a pillow placed under the calves so the heels do not touch the mattress.
• Lift rather than drag when moving your parent up the bed, because dragging tears fragile skin.
• Change wet pads promptly, clean gently and pat the skin dry.

How should a bed-bound person eat and drink safely?

Sit your parent as upright as they can safely manage for every meal and drink, and keep them upright for a while afterwards, because eating lying flat raises the risk of food or fluid going into the lungs. Coughing, choking or a wet, gurgly voice while eating should be reported to the doctor.

Offer small portions and sips, and do not hurry. Someone in bed all day can easily drink too little, which can lead to constipation, urine infections and confusion, so offer water regularly unless the doctor has limited fluids.

If your parent is fed through a tube, follow the hospital’s feeding plan exactly; tube care is a task for a home nurse.

How do you keep a bed-bound parent clean?

A daily bed bath, mouth care twice a day and prompt pad changes keep a bed-bound person comfortable and protect their skin. Work one part of the body at a time, keep the rest covered, and dry skin folds carefully.

1. 1Gather warm water, two basins (one for soap, one for rinsing), towels, a clean pad and clean clothes before you start.
2. 2Wash the face first and the groin area last, changing the water when it gets dirty.
3. 3Dry thoroughly under the breasts, in the groin and between the toes, where moisture causes rashes.
4. 4Clean the mouth with a soft brush or swab, including dentures, and moisten dry lips.

If your parent has a urinary catheter, keep the bag below the level of the bladder and do not disconnect the tubing. Catheter insertion and catheter changes are for a nurse to do.

How can you move a bed-bound parent without hurting them or yourself?

Use a folded bedsheet under your parent as a draw sheet, work with two people for heavier turns, and raise the bed to waist height if you can, so the legs do the lifting instead of the back. A physiotherapist can show the family the safest way to move your parent in their own room.

Joints that are never moved stiffen quickly. If the doctor agrees, a physiotherapist can teach gentle movements for the arms and legs that family members repeat between visits, and help your parent do as much for themselves as they can. Physiotherapy sessions at home are booked in lengths of 30, 45 or 60 minutes.

A hospital-style bed with side rails and adjustable height makes turning, feeding and changing easier on everyone’s back. Our guide to renting or buying a wheelchair or hospital bed explains how to decide.

When should you call a doctor?

Call the doctor promptly for a fever, faster or harder breathing, new confusion or drowsiness, very little urine, a sore that is open, weeping or smells, or a calf that becomes swollen, warm or painful. For chest pain, severe breathlessness, a fit or unresponsiveness, call 108 or go to the nearest hospital.

• Not eating or drinking for most of a day.
• Burning, cloudy or strong-smelling urine, or blood in the urine.
• A fall, or any new weakness on one side of the body.

What help can you get at home?

Families usually combine three kinds of help: a caretaker for personal care and company, a nurse for medical procedures, and a physiotherapist for movement. The right mix depends on what your parent needs medically and how many hours the family can cover.

On Aish Health you can book an elderly care caretaker at home in Hyderabad, including a live-in caretaker by the month, and book nurses and physiotherapists by the visit. Every professional is reviewed and approved by the Aish team before they can take bookings, and you can ask for a male or female professional, subject to availability. Nurses’ consumables, such as dressings and catheters, are charged extra by the service provider.

Finally, look after the carer. Share shifts across the family from the start, and bring in paid help for the hours you cannot cover before anyone is worn out.

Frequently asked questions